A few months back I went to my local testing center and took the AWS Certified Cloud Practitioner exam. As the visually-busy website says, this certification determines the candidate’s ability to define what the AWS cloud is, describe basic architectural principles, and is generally recommended for candidates with at least six months of exposure to AWS. As the title says, I passed the exam and am now certified.

In practical terms, this certification is on its face useless to me. It’s not a requirement for any more advanced certifications, it doesn’t help with partner status (and in case you were wondering, I’m not partnered with Amazon–or any vendor for that matter), it covers knowledge that even casual readers of my snarky newsletter likely already possess; I can’t even buy things with this logo on it from the AWS Certification Store! Why would I waste my time on an apparently useless certification?

It turns out that I’m incredibly lazy. Last year was my first re:Invent conference; I was astounded by the sheer amount of walking involved. Fortunately it turned out that there were comfy seats available, with snacks, coffee, power, and plenty of space.

The only problem was that I was barred entrance. This was the “Certification Lounge,” wherein only people who held active certifications were permitted entry. “We’ll see about that” I muttered, and went off to sulk for the rest of re:Invent.

This year will be a very different story. I will drink the finest of mass-produced coffee. I will sit in chairs that aren’t particularly ergonomic. I will snack upon tasty treats that are bad for me. I will overcharge my electronics until their batteries degrade. I will collect stickers I have no place to affix. I will smirk at others who are denied entrance to this ersatz Valhalla.

For my very limited use case, it’s not a certification; it’s a $100 lounge pass with a very odd entrance questionnaire.

If you’re going to attend re:Invent this year, you may wish to follow suit.